Wednesday, November 2, 2011

A reminder of the Pro's

Before J joined the AF I had a few people try to tell me what my life as an Officer's wife would be like. They said things like, "You'll have to get all fancy and go to functions regularly. That's where you'll have to impress the higher ranked Officer's." Or, "You will join the military as much as your husband does." Oh, how I wish I had talked to an actual Officer's wife and not only mere Civilians :)

It's somewhat of a blur now what I first envisioned my life to be like when we were contemplating joining the military. J came home and said he had interviewed with the Army. Gulp! To sum it up, I thought, MY LIFE would be engulfed by The Military, 24/7. Socially, we'd HAVE to do ceremonies, promotions, meetings and the like. Emotionally, it would consume me because the fear of deployment would constantly hang over me. Our lives would become so regime and dictated by my husband's profession. I FEARED my husband becoming a JAG. I said, "No way!" J dropped the idea. Then a couple months later the Air Force was on campus and J brought up the prospect of becoming a JAG again. Sigh.

Then I prayed. You see, I believe in personal revelation. When you have the stamp of approval from God, peace is bound to follow. Then, when you pray more and you learn that this is exactly the path God wants you to take, more peace arrives.

I HAD to know that before I could embrace my future. At first, each day seemed like an act of faith. But now, I can honestly say, I would NOT want to be living any other kind of life. And thus far, most my fears were so off!!

I will try to stay away from what J would answer and stick to why as a JAG WIFE I feel this way. Maybe I'll do his list another time! To date, these are the main Pro's (in no particular order)

Reason 1: Job Stability. At least at this point in the "game" I don't fear layoffs, no pay check or cut backs. In fact, I expect a raise every 1-2 years, each new calendar year, (as Congress sees fit) and bonuses at his 4th and 6th year.

Reason 2: I like a good adventure! Moving around, seeing literally the world, is a dream come true for me. Meeting new people and creating amazing memories is my kind of gig!

Reason 3: It strengthens our family relationships, if you let it. My children are close, my relationship with my husband is tight and I believe it has a great deal to do with us moving and having to lean on each other. Knowing that my core, little family is the ONE constant, makes me work a little harder to keep it strong. I say, if you let it, because divorce rates in the world are high and I heard somewhere it's even higher in the military. This makes sense because of deployments, stress levels etc but as far as the JAG core, I don't think it's the same. An Officer's life is different than an Enlisted...I could go on but I won't...

Reason 4: My husband comes home happy. As a wife, this definitely adds to my happiness!! Now, not ALL JAG's enjoy what they are doing and this obviously doesn't mean J will always enjoy what he is doing. If I could claim that, then I'd be physic and unfortunately I am not :). Another JAG in J's office makes it very clear that he is getting out after his commitment at 4 years. He doesn't like how the military runs things, he feels micromanaged, and frankly has not had a good experience. The cons outweigh the pros heavily for him and his wife. I am working on getting some other JAG wives to write a brief entry on their overall experience. I'm a newbie remember, others have a greater perspective than me, simply due to the mere number of years their husbands have been serving.


  1. I'm an Air Force JAG wife too! I agree with most of what you said. I was so scared of what it would mean for my husband to join the military, but fortunately it has been a great blessing to our family. I, too, had a lot of civilians telling me that being an officers wife would mean entertaining, going to important functions and so forth. I have not experienced that one bit. As far as my husband liking the work: he likes the legal work. Unfortunately, he gets stuck with a lot of non-legal work as well. I'm not sure if that is the case with your husband, but it is something that my husband is tiring of. Anyway, things might change with our new assignment. He will be in 2 years in January, and next summer we will go to our 2nd assignment. Perhaps he will start to be able to specialize and enjoy the work more.

  2. Sounds like my wife needs to chat with you... I'm about to pursue the JAG program in the Marine Corps. Very stressful time seeking personal revelation as well. Loved reading a point of view from a JAGs spouse. Thanks for the post.