Thursday, July 29, 2010

To answer Lauren's question (deployment, JAG as career decision)

Dear Lauren,

I was scared to death and sometimes still am of the looming possibility of deployment. I hold onto 2 facts regarding JAG's deploying. #1. Not all JAG's deploy. #2. No JAG has ever been killed while deployed.

I have 2 really good friends whose husband's are JAG's and have been deployed. A deployment can either weaken a marriage or strengthen a marriage. For one of my friends she had her 3rd child while her husband was deployed. It was devastating and when he got back it took her some time to not be angry with him. She had an array of emotions she had to work through. BUT they will both quickly say the deployment experience brought them closer together and strengthened their relationship in an indescribable way. All hardships and trials are for our own good and benefit us if we allow it.

My other friend would say nothing good has come from the deployment. He has been home for 3 months now. First off, they were married for about a year before he was deployed so that alone was bad timing for him to leave. They fought a lot while he was gone, whereas my other friends didn't nearly as much. So time will only tell...

How do I rationalize this is my mind?? Good question, easy for me to answer but an answer you or some of my other readers may find as an unsuitable response. Here it goes.

I KNOW that my husband is doing a great thing by serving in the military. I was never a die hard military person and even looked down on it (shamefully I admit that now). But I believe Top Gun is a very intelligent guy. I like to brag (he did go to a top 10 law school ;). He has a lot to offer the Air Force and vice verse. He is practicing law in a way he couldn't ANYWHERE else.

PRAYER is my answer. My heart was changed when I knew that God wanted Top Gun on this path. Once I felt that, through personal prayer, our will became His will. Can I say the Air Force is the career path Top Gun has permanently chosen? When we came in, it was 4 years and out! Yet, everyday we are in, it feels more and more like YES! Let's keep riding this out! Which btw almost all JAG families we have communicated with respond the same way when asked if they plan on staying in or making a career out of this..."We ask ourselves that question everyday." Everyone is always thinking about whether to stay in or get out. Well I can't say everyone but the people we've been stationed with all seem to have that same response. But there lies my advice. Take it one day at a time.


  1. Thank you so much for this! I don't know if we will ever come to a firm decision until the moment we sign a contract haha! So many days I can't even count all of the Pros to my Husband being a JAG, but when I do think about the Cons I always feel like they may be few but they are big! He has had to move away three times since we have been together for internship so we aren't new to being apart, but we still don't handle it well. We are more like your friends who felt nothing good came from the time apart. But my Husband says that its just part of it and not something to worry about so that's what I'm trying to do :-/ I'm really thankful for your blog, it's literally the only one out there providing any kind of glimpse into this life. Thank you!

  2. Thanks for all your recent posts! Lots of helpful info!

  3. After you find out if you are chosen after your interview, how long does it take to find out when you will be going to training? I got a little confused because Top Gun's training kept getting pushed back. We are trying to decide when a good time to plan our wedding would be. Thanks for all the great info.

  4. They will not assign you to a training class until you've passed the bar. Once you pass the bar I would call Terry Goodman or whoever your recruiter is and then he'll assign you to a training class. Top Gun took the California bar which is one of the last states to be scored (November) but some people know months earlier if they've passed the bar. Each COT class can only take so many JAG's. Once they are full you get pushed back to the next COT class. It all depends on when you 'officially' get an offer. Terry Goodman kept giving us estimated start dates never 'official' ones but once you receive the paperwork and the official start date from your recruiter, it won't change. BTW, for money purposes I would get married before training. You'll get BAH b/c you're considered a dependent. It has zero affect on whether you are married or not when the Air Force considers you for a JAG position or to go overseas.

  5. Today we chose Offutt AFB in Nebraska.
    Paperwork will be coming soon.
    What a huge decision wrapped into one phone call.
    I am very nervous, despite knowing joining Air Force JAG is the right choice for us.

  6. I am SUPER excited for you and your family. Great Adventures await!!

  7. My husband just accepted the JAG offer on Wednesday. We will be stationed in Albuquerque, New Mexico. We are really excited! He leaves for training in October so I'm assuming my daughter and I will be moving in the beginning of January. Any tips on Kirtland AFB or other suggestions would be appreciated. Big Fan of Your Blog Thanks:)